Is There Hindsight in 2020?

Looking back into 2019 for me can be beneficial, I think…I learned a whole lot, I grieved, I fell off my path, then found my way again.  The fell off again.  Then realized I may have been on the wrong path.  Now I’m standing somewhere different, ready to embark onto some of the new things I’m excited about.

I realized my path is in no way a straight trajectory.  As with most people’s paths, I could not have anticipated many of the things I experienced in 2019, both positive and heart-wrenching:

I lost my FitBit 3 days before Ike died (to me, it was a sign to stop walking).

I lost Ike to cancer.

I found my FitBit 3 months after Ike died (still didn’t start walking, but saw it as a sign that maybe he wanted me to walk again).

I logged in 47 straight days on the app Insight Timer.

I missed one Saturday meditation session on the app Insight Timer, and got so disappointed with myself that I didn’t use it for 2 weeks (not an evolved response, for sure).

I now use the app Insight Timer when I can, and cut myself some slack and try not to be “competitive” in my use of it.

I led meditation practices.

I missed leading meditation practices.

I asked for approval to be sent to UC-San Diego mPEAK Coach training, and got denied by my employer.

I went to mPEAK Coach training on my own dime, and am so grateful for the opportunity to learn under Pete Kirshmer.

I respectfully pushed the envelope with management on mindfulness…and am proud to say I’m still employed (!)

And on it goes…

Here’s why I list these random things right now, at the beginning of 2020.  I started to make an “Appreciation List”, just in general, to start the new year.  This can be called a gratitude list as well…but I wanted to list things that were definitely positive, and definitely not-so-positive, and be appreciative of it ALL.  The failures, the accomplishments, the frustrations, the triumphs.  They all opened up an opportunity to learn.  I just needed to take the opportunity.  Sometimes I did, sometimes I didn’t.  But reflection is helping me be aware of missed opportunities, and the loving notion that I if I missed the boat, it may have not been my boat that time…maybe next time.  Also, I can and will be ready to embrace my own insecurities, my own weird filters on the world, my own terror at trying anything new and my own courage for trying anyway.  Remember, reflection should be accompanied by self-compassion, non-judgment and non-attachment.  Remember your trials and triumphs from 2019, then let it go.  Turn the page.  Welcome to a new decade!

“The best teacher, failure is.”


I’ll be posting more in the near future…there are some amazing new trainings on mindfulness, work resilience, new meditation apps, the works are coming our way in 2020! Here’s the first:

Mindful Society

is an affirmation based apparel brand; their dream is to demystify mindfulness.  This start-up company is dedicated to building a conscious community of individuals through positive messages and a big dose of modern style.  They also plan on giving back to mental health organizations, and to infuse the world with positive vibes, gratitude, and the joy of the moment! The founders and owners of this company are friends of one of our meditating Smiling Scientists and her family, so I wanted to give them a little shout-out and direct you to their story.  Check them out and pre-order a garment to get them up and running during their Crowdfund campaign, if you’d like!

As always, shoot me a line if you want to talk.  Keep smiling, Nici